so. yesterday i interviewed for a new position within my company. and it got me to thinking about just how strange interviews can be. they teeter between being absolutely surreal and being simply inane. i sat there with people i joke around with every time i see them, and i have to tell them when i last lost my temper, what the last creative thing i did was, and what my triggers are in the work environment. the idea of selling myself as a commodity that a company cannot afford to be without seems outlandish, yet there i found myself trying to drive home the fact that i would have no problems meeting their expectations. that i yearn to grow within this company and challenge myself as only this job will allow me.
this interview that i just did was even more odd than usual. i have applied for this position because i honest-to-goodness want to have a go at this job. not because i am desperately trying to find a means of income that just so happens to also coincide with my sensibilities. if i don't get the job, it's no skin off of my nose, and i have never really felt like i was in that sort of position. the interview i had for my current job resulted in me coming home and crying about how i did horribly and how i'll never get a decent job in this market. this interview resulted in a shrug and a presto-chango out of the hot suit i had worn all day.
so much can become invested in one simple contrived moment in one's week. and yet, it makes sense, because one's vocational path can rely upon that moment when you say that you are like that one type of person that your supervisor once told you he cannot stand.